Saturday, September 11, 2010

Right off the bat

So it's my friend's birthday yesterday. I go over to his house to play some video games with him and his brother, and we decide to go see Resident Evil in 3D Imax. Also we decide to go to the Fatburger by the theater so that I can do the XXXL burger challenge. So like an idiot I was convinced by my friend to pregame Fatburger by eating three tamales and some cake. When I got the burger it look delicious, even though it was like crying grease. I could help but look down at the pool of melted lard and say "hahahahaha that's in my heart" When about a third of the burger was left (that's still half a pound of meat) time began to slow down. It took like an hour or something to finish the last bit but I did it. I got a certificate too. After that ordeal we saw the movie. This is a spoiler warning but I mean come on are you really going to see Resident Evil for the plot? No. you're going to see it for bullet-dodging Wesker and to see the guy from prison break break out of prison. I know right? Plot twist. Anyway, so in like the first scene the main character stabs some dude with a katana and the blade doesn't come out the back side of him. I mean they must have noticed that and then just were to lazy to go back and correct it. Also when Chris is all "Claire, you're my sister," everyone accepts it? seriously there are maybe 400 people alive in the world and they happen to find Claire's brother. If I was in that room I would have at least been all like "what are the odds?" So after the movie was over we all decide to go to LA at midnight to get some taco's from some hole in the wall taco place. And nothing happened. I was so disappointed. I thought we might have to fight some dudes or something, and then some guy would have pulled a knife and everyone would have backed up and been like "whoa man," but I would have been all cool and shit. And then the guy with the knife would be all like "Ima stab you" and I'm  all "that's cool, if I get stabbed three more times I get a free Subway foot long." I wouldn't survive long in a bad neighborhood.

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